I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
