I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
