You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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