she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
