thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize