the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
