dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
