He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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