Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
