Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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