As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize