Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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