You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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