I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
