There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
