I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
