why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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