it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
