Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
