Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
