You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize