My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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