When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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