He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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