were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You made out with two different species that night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
