His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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