I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize