Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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