i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
