3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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