Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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