C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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