Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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