How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
