$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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