I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
