i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
