ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
