If i come over, it means nothing
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
