eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
