dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
