Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
