He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
