they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i barfeds in our rink
We talked him into tasing himself.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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