i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
