What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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