We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Bring me that man meat
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
