I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
