wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
