It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
