Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
