Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
