I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
