I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize