My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
