So drunk its hurt
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
