some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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